That’s all I want. Can I get it? It’s 1:07 in the fucking morning, what do you think? Boyfriends..girlfriends I don’t care. Doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is how much time we are together. NOT ENOUGH!!! I thought we had it worked out today. She said she knew we were not together enough. At least, that’s what I heard. Then again, I wanted to hear it so bad she could have said anything. Called her just after midnight and asked when she’d be home. She had no idea. NO IDEA?? Why the fuck not? I know, Oh my god, it’s midnight! I’m sorry, we lost track of time. I should come home now. But no! I went off on her. I’m afraid I fucked things up pretty bad. Not because of anything I said. I’ve said it all before. But because I’m so upset, so angry. They’re watching a movie. Not very far in to it. She can’t leave because it would be rude. RUDE!?!?!? What the fuck is rude about going home to your husband who is very upset. She says I’m trying to take her freedom. NO FUCKING SHIT!!!!!! What the hell is marriage?!?! It’s a compromise on each other’s time. She believes she spends more time with me than with anyone else or doing anything else. And she does. Kind of. She spends more time with me than she does with friend number one. She spends more time with me than grocery shopping. She spends more time with me than with friend number 2. But the truth is that she spends much more time away from me than with me. And she doesn’t understand why I’m upset. She doesn’t get it. Literally. She can’t understand why I want to be with her so much. Why anyone would want to spend as much time toghether as I want to spend with her. She doesn’t want to. Doesn’t “get it.” We started talking about it this afternoon. We were both in tears practically. She said we’d talk more when she got back. That didn’t fucking last long! I don’t even know who she is any more. What can I say? Fuck it!
She got home at 3:18 AM
